Remembering The Old & Abandoned

5 May 2012 -  Wesak Day sees most Buddhist devotees heading to Buddhist temples and Viharas for prayers and blessings, making offerings and releasing birds and fishes in remembrance of the Great Buddha.  However, for Hubby and myself, we decided to spend this day by upholding the teachings of the Lord Buddha in another way, which is no less meaningful.  Instead of visiting a temple, we purchased some groceries and adult diapers (an expensive but much-needed item) and made a visit to Persatuan Rumah Warga Emas Klang. 





This Home, founded by Mrs. Nanthan Yogarani and her late husband in 2002 takes in abandoned and homeless senior citizens, regardless of race or health conditions.  A few are placed there by their relatives who occasionally pays a token sum or donate groceries.  Apart from that, the funds to run this Home depends solely on the generosity of public.  Currently assisted by her two daughters and son, they take care of 33 senior citizens, some bedridden, some semi-paralysed or having some disability or other.  With only one or two able-bodied residents helping out, Mrs Nanthan faces a daunting task each day juggling between cooking, washing, cleaning up the premises and tending to the bedridden and the semi-invalid.  I assisted a semi-paralysed uncle onto a wheelchair and it was no easy task, even for 3 persons.  Earlier, Hubby also helped to carry an uncle from his wheelchair onto the bed.  Believe me, looks can be misleading, those frail-looking uncles sure is heavy.  For those who has experience with taking care of such persons before, they will definitely empathise with Mrs. Nanthan. The next time you feel like complaining about heavy workload or lack of rest time, try imagine how Mrs. Nanthan's typical day is like and you will feel humbled.  Yours truly is guilty as charged.

Hubby and a volunteer helping this uncle onto his bed with Mrs. Nanthan looking on

Mrs Nanthan is a remarkable lady ~ iron-willed, patient and with a big golden heart contained in a bubbly and cheerful figure.  Running a Home of this category, without Government’s financial support or hired help is truly a daunting task.  Devoting her time and energy, sacrificing her rest and not earning any financial gains from this, is something a lesser person would not undertake.  Evidently, this did not deter Mrs Nathan as she tirelessly takes care of these people, giving them the best she could under limited circumstances, people who she takes in as strangers but end up as family to her.  The merits she gain is immeasureable. 

Housed in a rented single-storey unit with extensions done on their own initiative to accomodate the numbers of residents, this is a  simple Home with simple needs that sees to the basic needs of its residents without frivolities.  Each resident has a bed to call his/her own, but due to the space constraint, not all residents have a room to sleep in.  There are four beds placed in the covered porch area, which is also part of the “dining area” where meals are served on long tables.  The bedridden or semi-invalid  take their meals on their beds.  So far, none of the residents there need to be spoon-fed but there are few semi-paralysed residents who has only use of one hand and their meals are served in special bowls to make it easier for them to scoop up the rice and food.  One of the many thoughtful ideas from Mrs Nanthan which shows how much she cares and concern about the residents there.  Another example of her thoughtfulness is in the meals which she cooks with the residents’ welfare and health condition at heart.  I was told that they love porridge,  likes their drinks sweet even for the diabetics and spicy food will upset their stomachs. A favourite of theirs is bubur pulut hitam which Mrs Nanthan will indulge them only occasionally, as glutinous rice is not easily digested, especially by old people.  Not only that, Mrs "MacGyver" Nanthan also "repair" beds and other furniture.  One of the bed has one of its legs rusted away leaving it about 3 inches shorter, so in order to level it with the rest, Mrs Nanthan prop it up on a piece of brick.  When I broached this to her, she told me that she intends to "repair" the leg by cementing it in an empty milk can but has not got round to it yet.  Also found out that there are 2 other beds in similarly pathetic condition.  Noting this, Hubby and myself made a mental note to source 3 new beds for them.

The residents themselves are a mixture in characters - some openly friendly, some approachable, some nonchalant and one even slightly hostile.  Considering the circumstances which put them there, the negative response is totally understandable.  Abandoned and lonely, each heart carrying their own untold stories, they do not have much to look forward to.  A few of the residents shared with us on how they ended up there.  Being sick and abandoned in Hospital, with no where to go is a common reason, another is being left in the streets.  Mrs Nanthan takes them in and does her best to provide them with a decent place to stay until their time is up.  A sad but nevertheless harsh reality. Unlike orphaned kids who leaves the Home when they grow up or if lucky get adopted, residents of Old Folks Home are there to stay for life, until its time to meet their Maker. The youngest resident, a guy in his mid-forties, told Hubby that he believed he ended up there because of his bad karma in the past.  In his young days, he was a wild and rebellious one, walked on the wrong path and did many things he is not proud of, until two years ago he checked himself into a hospital for surgery on his spine and somehow ended up paralysed from waist down.  With no family to take care of him, he was brought to this Home and found solace in religion.  The pain was apparent in his face as he relate his tale to Hubby.  He accept that he is now reaping what he has sown in the past, so to atone for it, he now spends his time reading Buddhism books and chanting mantras.  Another man, semi paralysed from waist down, was left there by his family who thereafter never return again … for which the reason or true story lies between him and his family, a situation we should not and have no right to judge or condemn.  An old lady I spoke to told me that she is only waiting to die… a sentiment shared by most of the old people there.  This lady keep calling me over to her and it turn out that all she wanted was to hold my hands and stroke my hair.  Most of them are just like her, their hunger is not for food but for a gentle word of concern, a warm touch and if one is able to give, a warm hug….   

Apart from us, there were two other parties who dropped by… an Indian family who brought lunch and a young man who owned a fruit orchard nearby.   Lunch was a simple Indian cuisine but noticed that the residents do not seem to eat much.  The young man is a regular who frequently drops by with fruits from his harvest for the residents at no charge.

After staying  for some time, we said our goodbyes to each of them.  Hubby’s heart sank when two of the old uncles told Hubby that they were waiting for him to go over and chat with them, which Hubby did not get round to.  Hubby felt so bad and tried to make up for his neglect by taking a photo with them.  We delayed our goodbye and stayed a bit more longer and took some more photos with the other residents.  The joy on their face brought on by this unexpected gesture truly tug at our heartstrings. 

The two uncles who patiently waited for Hubby to talk to them

We finally left with heavy hearts and a lump in our throat as the sight of them waving goodbye to us fade away from our view but remained in our hearts.  In their minds, they may be wondering if we will remember them and return again? This brings to mind a statement made by somebody saying that the most valuable thing you can give in charity is actually your time.  Different Homes may have different needs in terms of grocery,  household items, medical supplies, etc, but all Homes have one need in common – Time and Attention.  To us, it may be courtesy when asking about their welfare, but to them, it means a lot.  Reach out and hold their hands and you will notice surprise and joy on their faces.  They, who have been deprived of this kind of attention, will welcome your warm gesture.   You may meet some who seem hostile initially but take time to melt them with genuine warmth, as I did with one uncle who was shouting and scolding for no reason.  I persisted and kept trying to make conversation with him and in the end, when we said our goodbye to him, he has mellowed down and even wave us goodbye in his no-nonsense way.  Junior’s antics with the turkey and the chickens was also watched in amusement by the folks and lighted up their faces.

Today’s visit truly made us reflect deeply into our own lives… Of late, being engrossed in work and family life, we have inadvertently devoted less of our time to visiting Homes, a fact we are not proud of.  This Wesak Day is a timely reminder of the blessings we have in our lives and the importance of sharing it with others. Even though we did not get to obtain the blessings from the monks in temples that day, nevertheless, the blessings we got from the old folks in that Home, blessings from their hearts, is just as priceless.